I'd like to talk to y'all today about hiding depression. What a lot of people see as "high functioning depression". It's much more common than you think, and it's something that needs to be talked about.
I have bipolar 2, which is often misdiagnosed as major depression. I spend so much of my time depressed that on the lighter days i might not notice the depression itself, even though I'm tired and unmotivated. But it's still there. I rarely have days where it's completely gone.
Yet, i have responsibilities. I can't hide in bed, as much as i want to. I have to get up. I have to take care of the animals, and take care of my family. There's meds to take, errands to run, Drs visits to go to. There's so many people i have to interact with, and i can't let them know how i really feel. I smile and laugh. I chat harmlessly. I ask pertinent questions. All the while there's a howling void inside my head.
I ran across this video last night around midnight. I was feeling very detached, removed from my life. I watched and the slow, poetic pacing caught my attention, as well as what it was describing. I related, hard, with what was being said, and i appreciated the serious and almost listless tone of the reader. She SOUNDED like how i felt, and that made the story she was telling even more accurate.
I would like you to take the time to watch this video. It's only a few minutes long. It will give you a very clear insight into what I'm feeling. Maybe you feel like this too. Just know that you're not alone.
https://youtu.be/qBWgPRXsnOU
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